Under any circumstances, good or bad, I hate going to the dentist! I know I'm not alone with this one. Go on, admit it, you hate it too! Well, I have a toothache so what else can I do but see Dr. Lecturous because that's exactly his attitude.
"Been at the chocolate again, have we?" he sneers at me. Ugh clever clogs!
"Actually, no just a lollipop!" I said, afraid to admit the crime.
"Even worse," was his response.
Why is my life revolved around being told how and what I should eat?! After all I can't eat very much at all and any food passing my lips is an achievement.
So here goes. "Open wide," as he peers down on my face. Does that light have to be so bright?
"Mmm, I can see the problem," and with that hits the tooth like he's playing a xylophone.
"Ouch," I scream.
"That's the critter," he hit it again.
"Okay, okay, you got it, please don't hit it again."
Out came the needle and in went the stufff that makes you talk like Donald Duck for the rest of the day. Then the dreaded high pitch whir of the drill. At this point the nurse sticks a rod in my mouth and stinks my tongue and cheeks up into it. Slup, slup!
There's bits flying everywhere and I don't know whether to swallow or wait until she stinks it up into the tube.
"There, all done," he says triumphantly!
Now I'm really in a state. I have to go shopping for my dad, and at the counter I say, "Two piyesz pluplease."
"What?" says the shopkeeper!
To **** with that, I thought and I just pointed to two pies. I wanted other things too so I pointed to my mouth and explained that I'd been to the demphist!
She laughed and nodded. "Went there last week," she said. "Cost me a packet."
I got home and really wanted a drink. I felt like I was wrapping my lips round a bucket instead of a glass, and then I poured the drink all over me. To **** with that an all, I'll wait until the numbness wears off.
At least my toothache went. I wondered why I should spend so much money, time and care of them when I no longer need them. Vanity, I suppose. No more lollipops for me then.