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Driving Me Crazy



“Hon, aren’t you a little close to that car in front of us?â€


So begins our average trip, I will admit that I am not the best of passengers and might have raised passenger seat driving to an art form, but if I can read the speedometer in the car in front of me I get a little edgy. My husband, on the other hand, loves to drive and check out the passing scenery... unfortunately it is not always in that order.


Our trips to Pennsylvania take about six to eight hours, depending on traffic and potty stops for the hubby and Loki, my faithful little dog. About half of that time is spent on interstates where any safe braking distance is just too big of a temptation for most drivers to pass up and the rest is spent on smaller highways and back country roads where small critters lie in wait and the scenery can mesmerize the driver.


“Sweetie, you are doing 45 in the fast lane and the people behind you are starting to form a mob.â€


“Darling, you said I was too close, so I backed off -- make up your mind.â€


Have you ever noticed that the more frustrated you get the more you pull out those little pet phrases, coating them with so much honey that you actually could gain weight from them?


Finally we get past the first hurdle of the interstate system, with frequent comments on the speed limit; if I comment he is going too fast, say 85 in a 60 mph zone he will slow down to 50 because he knows that I will comment on that as well.


Country roads beckon us, wide open and with no other cars in sight and I pry my hands from the arm rests and take a breather before round two of our journey begins. We both need a break by this time and Loki is usually ready to wiggle his toes a bit and sniff around to see who has left a calling card, so we pull off the road at a trading post with a huge brown bear on the roof to stretch for a few minutes.


At this point the dialogue changes slightly from other cars to assorted animals along the road and the slowly changing scenery.


“Look at that huge cow over there, it must weigh a ton.â€


“It is a nice cow… Hon… but the road is turning and you aren’t.â€


“Watch out, there are some deer up ahead!â€


“Look at that barn, they repainted it… woah… where did those deer come from?â€


“I told you to watch out, Sweetie..."


“No you didn’t, Dear, we were talking about that barn!â€


Just think... in two short days we get to come back the exact same way in reverse. <_<


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