Brrrr! I'm so cold. No matter how much clothing I pile on it makes little difference! I feel about as bare as the trees at the moment and yes, they are dropping leaves at the rate of knots making my drive extremely slippery. My fire won't go and I'm fast losing patience with the thing. I piled on loads of wood and even a firelighter to boot but it flickers with a solitary flame and enough smoke to send signals.
My yearly appointment is one to look forward to tomorrow -- not! An early morning dash through city traffic is enough to put you off before even getting there. I have much to tell my doctor but since I don't want to go in the first place I'm pondering -- "tell her - tell her not"! I want to go in and out, I'm dreading the whole episode to be honest. I say so little these days that I think she thinks I'm cured. If I say I'm tired of complaining does that identify with any of you? I simply hate my condition so much that the "S" word is almost a swear word. I try and behave pre "S" until there's enough reminders that I'm paying no attention to it!
My family pretend there's nothing the matter with me or am I missing the point? Do they actually care? Is it my fault I wonder, giving out the wrong signals. No wonder my doctor thinks I'm cured! According to her if you're breathing, walking, talking and can stand on one leg without falling over -- you're okay for at least another year and if you can stand straight up from a sitting position -- you're a miracle of modern science. She'll be more interested in my choice of footwear than my aching limbs.
She'll ask if I've been exercising, swimming, doing my best to keep healthy. If I could do all that what do I need to see her for? The very fact that I can't do it is the whole reason I'm there. I can't swim because of my tube and the risk of infection and who needs exercise when it's so painful to do it!
My next blog will be a report of my exciting day at the hospital. No doubt status quo will be on the cards!