I'm playing the waiting game at the moment; just 'hangin' around before I go to the hospital for a check up. This time it happens to be my gastro appointment and one which I don't mind admitting to dreading! Why? you may ask. Well, this one is a requested visit as asked for by my rheumatologist. She's concerned that the choking episodes may well cause me to have pneumonia yet again and as I don't want that to happen, then the appointment is rather important.
There's the bowel issues too. Oh, yes! the dreaded bowel issue. Some days I'm fine and others just want to make me wish I was some place else. I am of course talking constipation here, not my favourite subject of all but there you go!
You spend days hoping to go and then avoiding the moment when it becomes inevitable. I'm sorry to be so blunt but there's just no other way of putting it.
I try to plan my day around it--can't think, can't do anything constructive, everything revolves around that little trip to the bathroom. It begins to rule your life, your daily routine and your sole purpose to function. You feel guilty for putting more stuff in with an in depth fear of exploding! I take liquid food and I feel as though I'm just filling up at the petrol station and not burning the fuel.
The trauma of eventually going to the toilet is one which put's you off going for the rest of the week and so it all goes again!
My gastro doctor will be very interested, if not lecturous this time. He gave me some suppositories which look like jellied bullets to use last time. I took them on holiday with me and they melted in the heat. I put the rest in the fridge and they solidified again much to my relief in more ways than one.
The long drive is putting me off slightly, rush hour traffic and all. It'll take longer to travel home than the actual appointment and who knows what shape I'll be coming home in. My guess is a 24 hour PH monitor attached up my nose and down my esophagus, that's the worst outcome! At best, I'll get away scot free, here's hoping!
So Gastro Man here I come. I hope he has some special powers lined up for me today!
Asta la vista Baby!