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Amazing Bloodless Woman Poem



Well! I have scleroderma -- Sclero what! I heard you say

Oh something very nasty a greek word by the way

I'll give this vein another try, I won't be beaten y'know

I sigh "why not" just have another go.

No! theres nothing there, are you sure you live and breathe

Well! I think I need some of your blood before I up and leave

I'll get someone more specialised, someone who never fails

She's quite a formidable person who has no time for males


The rustle of the curtain told me that she was here

In came this huge brash person -- "Is it you I need my dear!

I've heard so much about you, the woman with no veins"

Why do I feel so worried as they passed over the reins

This woman hovering round me who'd left her last one on the floor

Was about to have a go at me, I was looking for the door.

"Now C'mon love" she said as though I'd jump up and run

And then boasted about her victims as if she was having fun

My last one was a policeman a big strong kind of guy

Screamed out loud for all to hear as if he was going to die

I had another this morning, said that he was the "man"

When I got my needle out he jumped up and ran


My arm outstretched, her hand grabbed mine I really wasn't getting away

This woman they'd got from the crimean war was getting my blood today

Out came this tiny needle and a dish full of viles

I wasn't sitting comfortably and it wasn't due to my piles

She scanned my arm with x ray vision, then began to rub away

That little blighter I think is there had better come out to play

In went the needle for the umpteenth time in succesion

And out came the blood, slow but a steady progression

"There you are dear" She exclaimed with a certain joy

"This is what makes us women, and men a mere boy"

"Did you say you had scleroderma, to do with skin I believe is true

I heard you tell the other nurse so I already knew

Y'see you're never too old to learn my dear and that's what makes me good

So whenever you need to come again ask me to take your blood.

The moral of this poem is never judge a book by it's cover

I want that lady every time I'd never have another


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