I awaken and for the 3-4th time, it takes me at least 30 seconds to get my head straight and realize I am not in my room at the home I grew up in. As the fog lifts from my sluggish brain, my dream comes shooting back to me in bits and pieces - different dream but same place and same theme as always. Maybe I should mention that to my therapist?
Gauging from the light and the weather outside, I guess it's probably 5:23 am. I look at my phone, it's 5:25. I'm never more than 10 minutes off. I peek through my curtains at my goats in their pen, being careful that they don't see me because if they do, they will start hollering for their alfalfa and they won't shut up until they get it. . They should know by now my coffee comes first! And that they never get to eat before 7am.
As I lay there, going over what day it is and what is going on with my boys - does Braden work? Does Henry work after school? Will I have to make dinner? Do I have an appointment today? Did I miss another appointment? ! I have to report household income changes to DSHS. Is my prescription ready YET? Who do I have to yell at about that? What fresh kill will the cat have brought in for her kittens today? I don't wanna get up.
I don't have to get up. But I do anyway....