I went to two rheumatologists, one who said maybe lupus and one who diagnosed me with lupus, so I went to the lupus clinic in the city that I live in and saw a immunologist. She diagnosed me with Scleroderma.
The reason I went to so many doctors is that I was unhappy with the care I was receiving. I wasn't looking for a different diagnosis. When I went to the lupus clinic they started from scratch and tested me for everything. They took 15 or 16 vials of blood, a complete medical history and asked lots of questions.
I'm concerned that you are just searching for someone that will tell you that is is all a bad dream. At some point you're going to have to come to terms with it and take control of your situation. Finding a doctor that you can talk to and will take the time to explain things to you is important and will help you accept that you are ill. You've taken a huge step in getting diagnosed and it's scary. Trust me I know, I wish I had lupus, because when I thought I had lupus it looked like I had a mild form of the disease.
If you learn all you can and take an active role in managing your disease it will help ease your mind.