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Everything posted by quiltfairy

  1. I had a boyfriend for awhile, but when the pain in our intimate life came he just could not handle it. He was also a truck driver and the worst part for him was that if anything happened to me he may not be able to get here soon enough. Since then I have not been in a intimate relationship. I have decided that I don't want to go with the pain of breaking up again when things happen. I have many friends, but I prefer no relationships. Maybe it is unfair of me to say that no man wants to come into a relationship to care for a woman with a disease such as ours. I hope that you who are in relationships can have great ones.
  2. My hands have been hurting real bad for the last couple of weeks. I was not supposed to see my sclero doctor until October but I sent him an email and let him know what was going on so he set an appointment last Wednesday. He looked at my hands and said he could tell my Raynaud's was getting a lot worse and that my hands were not getting a good blood supply. He prescribed amlodipine besylate for it. I looked it up to see what it did. It is a calcium channel blocker to help the flow of blood my hands have a little color back in them. They were very white and sometimes had a bluish grey color. It is nice to start to see them as pink again. They still hurt but not as bad it is much more tolerable. When my hands do not like to work right anymore they are a little stiff. I am thankful for the spell checker in my computer or you would not be able to read this. I hope everyone had a great 4th of July celebration. For you in other countries, I hope you had a great weekend.
  3. I talked with the case worker today that had washed the trash can in the sink, in my belief it is always better to go straight to the source. She stated she will not do it again and then tried to make me sound bad, but I got my point across to her I think. But Wednesday my nurse will be here and I will also let her know about it. I hope this helps the situation. Thank all of you for your great support.
  4. I have let everyone I know about amazonsmile.com. They all say it sounds like a great program and are going to alert family and friends to let them know about it. Several friends have signed up for amazonsmile.com.
  5. Now I am really angry! I have become good friends with my neighbor and she also has the same worker come to her house. She had surgery in January, wound up with 3 extremely bad infections in the incision and she almost died from the infection. She wound up with a wound vacuum assisted closure to get the infection out and what she described to me was horrendous and she told me today that the care worker also washed her trash cans out in the kitchen sink. Oh my goodness, I now know why she was so ill and why she keeps getting so ill. She has diabetes which she needs to be living in a clean environment without the possibility of getting e-coli infection. Sorry about the rambling; I am just so upset right now.
  6. I have a shower aid worker who is to be at my house when I take a shower because I have fallen getting out of my shower a couple of times . Anyway she usually does the dishes while I am in the shower. Wednesday after I got dressed I went into the kitchen to see that the drain plug had not been pulled or so I thought, so I reach in to pull the plug and all I got was a handful of dog hair and coffee grounds. After cleaning out the drain I asked my shower aid worker how the hair and coffee grounds got in the sink. She said she did not know how, so I looked at every container that had had coffee grounds in it and none of them had been washed. I checked my coffee pot to see if she had cleaned the filter; no, that was not it; the bag had fallen down in my trash can and that is when I discovered that she had cleaned out my garbage can in the kitchen sink. When she left I cleaned my kitchen sink with cleaning fluids and boiling hot water and then I proceeded to clean all of the dishes again with about half a cup of cleaning fluids in the dish water. I thought about just plain throwing out the dishes but my budget says no. I was a little sick to my stomach for awhile. I am calling her service on Monday and reporting her; she is a aid to several people that have a weakened immune system and she could actually kill someone with actions like she did with me.
  7. I was loading a load of hay up in Canada. There were a couple of us throwing straps over the load to secure it from falling off the trailer. One of the straps hit me in the head by the steel hook end. It made a permanent dent in my head, fractured my skull and blew out c5-c6 disk bad enough that the doctors called it a broken neck. I have no memory of this happening. I just know what people have told me about it. Several doctors have said I am lucky to be alive. This is why I had neck surgery and what caused the crystals to come loose in my head. I deal with short term memory loss and other issues. I have learned to cope with most of it by writing notes and setting a routine for daily functions like locking the doors at night. My dog Mariaha lets me know if I miss something. I have to stay in the kitchen if I have something cooking or I burn it, but that is getting better as time goes along. This happened in May of 2007. My neuro surgeon has told me if workmens comp had let him do the surgery right away things would be very different and if they had let him do repairs on nerve endings things would be different. My company I was driving for almost killed me. I had significant brain swelling and they refused to let the doctor treat it. So I'm very thankful for every day that I am alive.
  8. My ENT questioned me a lot about previous head injuries. I had had one in 2007. I still have the indent in my head from it and most of my doctors tell me I am lucky to be alive. Anyway my ENT said that I had shook loose the crystals in my ears, and that is what is causing my dizziness -- not fluid in my ears. I learned something new that day as I did not even know that we had crystals in our ears and that they helped us keep our balance. Which reminds me, in 2007 my neurosurgeon told me that crawling on my knees like a infant would help to bring my balance to my brain. Well it helped but I still have short term memory loss. The act of crawling and the shaking the head back and forth like an infant is how an infant gets balance to learn to walk with out falling over. Anyway, it is time to rest my brain from all the memories of 2007. Oh by the way, I was diagnosed with scleroderma in 2008, about one year to the day of the head injury.
  9. I agree with you Shelley; my family reunion was this last Sunday and I went to the picnic for about an hour and half, then I snuck away as just that little bit exhausted me. My aunt did ask where I went to and I said I had come home, I just did not want to affect everyone else's celebration.
  10. Today I turned the big 60. I was diagnosed the day before my birthday 4 years ago. After looking up scleroderma on the internet I was kinda feeling like I should get everything into place for my death. Then I found sclero.org. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for some smiles that I thought I would never be able to do again. Thank you for helping me explain this crazy disease to my family and friends and thank all you the most for learning that scleroderma is not a death sentence and that there is life after scleroderma. May I send my good thoughts to each of you, my friends.
  11. There are many ignorant people in this world. People state how sorry they are for me; I simply tell them, don't feel sorry for me, I don't need pity. I need support without pity, I need encouragement to continue to do what I need to do, that is all I need and then I give them this website so they can truly understand if they want to.
  12. Hi Maz, Welcome to the forms . I am very sorry for your loss and my thoughts go out to you and your family. Please keep in contact with us at this time of your sorrow. My best wishes are with you.
  13. Did anyone else watch the show on the television the other night about misdiagnosis; it was almost scary like your x ray being a false positive. If I were you I would get a second opinion. I am doing that with my ears; I get fluid in my ears for no reason, there is no infection or anything like that and my doctor keeps saying it is sinuses or another one of my allergies. She has said the same thing since 2007 and now I am finally going to see an ear, nose and throat specialist on Monday. My sclero doctor said my ear canals were smaller than normal, which could be caused by the scleroderma. So please get that second opinion. I also wish you good luck.
  14. Great analogy, Amanda. I know just how you feel. I was once an owner operator of a semi truck going down the road happily then life changed all of a sudden. I am now on disability doing nothing. I have no energy to do anything most of the time.
  15. Welcome everyone to the forums. This is a great place even at night when a person cannot sleep. I have a dent in my head also so but it is not en coup de sabre. I have a head injury from work that has caused me to become disabled. The doctors think this is where my scleroderma came from as I had a fracture in my skull that went untreated but did heal on its own. I wear my bangs long so no one sees it. Again welcome to the forums, this is a great place.
  16. Amanda, I was at that point with my mother a few years ago. It got down to knock down drag out arguments at one point. I decided things had to change and I knew it was not going to be my mother who was in her late 70's at the time. So I stopped arguing if she tried to start one. I simply got up and left. Now all the family has learned that I will not argue. I will simply leave. It has made things much better at my parents when I am there. There are no more holiday arguments, no more competition about who is the sickest or who has had the worse life. I just excuse myself and leave. Maybe you will have to do this with your family member. It was hard to do at first because nobody understood what I was doing, then they figured it out. Good luck with your family.
  17. I have found that most of my friends are okay with the fact that I have scleroderma, but some of them want to also be sick. I just don't understand it. I had a friend call me today and the first thing out of his mouth was, "I have an autoimmune disease also." I asked him if his doctor diagnosed it. He said, "No, but I have hypothyroidism and a website said it was Hashimoto's disease." I got on my computer and found that there are quite a few things that can cause hypothyroidism and I suggested he see his doctor, if nothing else to relieve his mind. I also asked if he read the symptoms that would lead his doctor to do the test for it. He once again stated he had not .I then read off the symptoms to him one at a time, only I got on the Mayo Clinic website, which goes into depth on a disease, so there is no question he had none of the symptoms. I have found I don't trust many sites for illness. Some can scare a person really bad. I stand by this: If a person thinks or believes they have an illness, they need to see their doctor, if nothing else just to ease their mind. If I believed all that I had found on the computer about scleroderma, I would be dead by now. Thank goodness that I found this site, and that I am very much alive.
  18. Thank you guys for a quick response. I found out that my weaver and Medicare and Medicaid will pay for a full time person to be with me at some point, which is hopeful. I would have to be taught how to transfer myself but I could still live a basically independent life. I think my nurse was getting ahead of things and it scared me. My sclero expert said I would still be able with some assistance to live on my own. i often times look back at my Tony, my little she-poo, who has been through so much and has saved my life on more than one occasion. When he was a year old he was attacked by a pitbull in a rest area in Iowa. He suffered four holes in his bladder, plus a hole in the tube that ran from bladder to kidney, and he had a hematoma above each kidney. He had a mild heart attack four years ago, when he was kicked by my ex-husband , and he was in the vet hospital for two week to see if his kidneys would once again repair itself. And yes it did, but he was an expensive dog for two years. Last year he suffered a stroke and did not even know his name but he has once again learned his name, where his food is, and all his little tricks. So if he can go through all this and be fine at fourteen years of age, I can have the strength to struggle through this
  19. My scleroderma is quite active right now. My hands hurt really bad it seems to be hitting my joints and when I get up in the morning it is hard to walk at first because my joints in my feet just don't want to work. I really hate to complain but that is what I am doing. I have help at home at times when either the home health aide is here or the home health nurse is here. She asked me this last week about thinking where I want to be when I cannot walk any more. It is not easy coming up with an answer for that. I live alone so there is not anybody here to help me.The bigger question for me is my babies, my she-poo and husky what about them. My son loves my husky and would love to take her in the truck with him but she is scared of him and very protective for me arround him, so I think they would need to be together a little more before that would happen. This just pains me to think about this.
  20. Her story gives me hope and tells me to never give up. Thank you.
  21. Peer support is through mental health; my therapist assigned her to me and she is to listen and help as I need her. She can help get me to doctor appointments; the thing I really enjoy is when it is nice out we take the dogs for a walk.I did talk to my therapist about her and what was said and he replied that it is something he will have to include in teaching her and other peer support specialists. All I know about the program it was piloted in Nebraska and is in Iowa but any further than that I do not know; I will check further into on the internet and let everyone know more.
  22. I have to ask, are you a smoker? I had crackling in my lungs and got short of breath easily, but since I quit smoking 5 months ago the crackling is gone and I can go a little farther without getting short of breath. My sclero doctor says my lungs sound much better and my next pulmonary function test will probably be better.
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