Upset, not sure if I am right in Personal Support Posted June 3, 2015 · Report reply Hello Quiltfairy Sorry I have just come to this thread and what a good one. I reckon most people say what they say with good motives, wanting to express the appropriate whatever the situation demands. Of course there will be spectacular fails! Shelley's right as usual, if you feel it, it's valid (unless subject to mental/emotional illness then maybe not) but it doesn't have to be acted upon. Having said that, you did act upon it, challenging it right then and there. Fantastic! Often by the time we've thought the appropriate reply the conversation has moved on and then our only recourse is to replay it in our heads at a later date. There are however some people who do compete with you when it comes to who's the illest, most in pain, most likely to circle the drain. As it happens I have one in my family. They only ask how I am in order to open the door so they can rush in and talk about themselves. The shame of it is I now avoid not only responding to their enquiries but making any of my own about them. Even though I have explicitly discussed the situation with them they choose to continue the behaviour. At 47 years of age, if I don't want to keep repeating the same behaviour, getting the same outcome and then being disappointed by it, I have to do something differently. Take care.