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Mom put in hospice


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My Mom was put into hospice today. The doctors say there is nothing they can do but keep her comfortable.   

 

Her liver and kidneys have failed, Next is her lungs and heart.  She is on a no resuscitation code and as a family we are respecting her wishes to not hook her up to machines to extend her life.  She is ready to go, as she puts it.  Mom has refused dialysis for the past year and at 85 I think she has the right to make that decision for herself and we as a family need to respect that.

 

Respecting that is one of the hardest things we have done as a family but my brother will be here from Arizona in a few days and I think that is what she is  waiting for, the family to once again be together.

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Hi Quiltfairy

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum; it's such a difficult time for you and your family and I can really empathise with you. My mother passed away last October.

I understand how difficult it is to respect your mother's wishes and I shall be thinking of you and your family at this sad time.

My best wishes to you,

 

:hug-group:

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Hi Quiltfairy,

 

I'm very sorry your mom has been put into hospice, and send warm hugs to you and your whole family. 

 

I know how very difficult it is to place do not resuscitate orders. The thing is, we have been so very misled by the media, into thinking that resuscitation is some sort of magic cure-all, whereas in reality there is an extremely low success rate in seniors, and usually people are only revived in order to experience much greater suffering, typically on a ventilator for the rest of their days; and in the end, we all lose the battle anyway. So it is a beautiful kindness to not force your mother to endure even more suffering. It is an extremely loving, albeit also extremely difficult, decision to make and to abide by, and to accept.

 

May you and your family draw close and hold tight together, and use all the chances you have to let your mom know how much you love her.

 

:hug-group:

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I got a call from my brother at 6:30 this morning. My mom passed away peacefully holding on to my dad's hand. She died at 7:11. I made it there at 7:15 but I know she knew I was on my way. I'm so glad she went peacefully and was kept comfortable until the very end.

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Dear Quiltfairy

 

I have just read your post and have never been more sorry to be so late in replying. Death is always terrible but all those things we hope will make it better your mother had. A family prepared to put the respect of her wishes before their own feelings, a family there and knowing family were busting a gut to be there when she died. It couldn't have been written better.

 

I am sorry but I am also glad that your mother had no suffering inflicted upon her in the name of longevity and had family all around because you have nothing to reproach yourself for. Often people do when someone dies, should have done this, not done that and so forth but you and your family achieved what your mother was hoping you would on her behalf. Can't do more or better than that.

 

Take care. 

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  • 3 years later...

Quiltfairy, So sorry about losing your mom.  Sounds like she put up quite a fight. 

 

Losing my mom, although 13 years ago, was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with,  And I've had some really challenging stuff - I hope your loving memories serve to comfort you during this next period of time, 

 

Warm thoughts, Nancy HG 

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