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barefut

Fatigued And Feeling Overwhelmed

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Just gotta gripe a bit today.

 

In looking at my house and yard I am feeling so overwhelmed with chores and underwhelmed with energy. So then there's the shame and guilt for all that goes undone. And that doesn't help the depression.

 

Am I really just lazy? Is it the sclero or the meds?

 

Where is my energy?! I am pacing myself. I am eating right. I am getting plenty of sleep. I am taking my vitamins. I take the med that has the "drowsy" side effect at night.

 

I just want to cry and crawl into a hole but have responsibilities that won't let me do that.

 

Follow up doctor appt to check on my antidepressant is next week. PFT, Rheumy and Pulm doctor the week after that. Hope they can help. I hate this feeling. This is going to be another non productive day and I am on a timeline.

 

Thanks for listening,

barefut


Take care,

Barefut

 

Serena Justis

ISN Blogger

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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Hey Love,

 

My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling all too well. I deal with the guilt quite often. I worry that others in my life are tired of me not pulling my weight. Chronic illness really is a life changer isn't it? Even when trying to look on the positive side - which does help - it's still a daily battle.

 

Hope it helps to know that most of us feel the same way. You are doing the best you can each and everyday - the rest you have no control over.


Warm and gentle hugs,

 

Pamela

ISN Support Specialist

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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I know that feeling exactly ...but if one day (and I go for weeks) I can't tidy up or do the garden because I feel so bad and tired, I leave it yea I feel guilty and lazy but so what ,,,when I wake up its still there I set my self little goals but not to many like I have a relaxing bubble bath , or I read a magazine, if I do the dishes, I eat a huge muffin (heehee) if I hoover, try not to be so hard on yourself as your health is more important than any tidying up,,,,,I suffer depression and at times I get bad and retire to bed hmmmm most of my days are spent in bed haha!! and if you need to take time away from housework or garden work that dont mean you are lazy or a bad person I'm sending you a huge hug and hope you are feeling a bit better keep smileing hugs jaxsxx


live life for today and not for tomorrow

 

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I know that feeling too and am sending you a spoon!!! I've been gone awhile, being the only participant in my ongoing pity party and just got tired of it. I don't know who it was or on what thread that told someone about the spoons, but it is great. Can't remember... maybe someone can help out with this. Really hit home.

 

I've also been on an alternative therapy, and reading some positive books. Don't let the doldrums keep you down, we enjoy your company!!!

 

Hugs comin' at ya -- TJ

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Hi TJ,

 

Thanks for mentioning the Spoon Theory. It is listed on our main site at:

 

Support Resources: Coping

 

The direct link to the article is:

 

But You Don't Look Sick: The Spoon Theory. I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons†you are starting with. Butyoudontlooksick.com.


Warm Hugs,

 

Shelley Ensz

Founder and President

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

Hotline and Donations: 1-800-564-7099

 

The most important thing in the world to know about scleroderma is sclero.org.

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Thanks guys,

 

All my spoons are dirty!

 

I wouldn't worry so much about my house and yard if I didn't use my home for preschool and childcare.

 

Right now I don't have any kids enrolled for my preschool and am wanting to make a good impression on those who may want to come visit. I've had a handfull of inquiries and am hoping someone may want to at least visit soon!

 

Am starting to worry I may have to give up my dream job for lack of students. :( Don't know what else I could do...

 

I am hanging in there though. Thanks for your kind words and support. Don't know what I'd do without you all.

 

Love,

Barefut


Take care,

Barefut

 

Serena Justis

ISN Blogger

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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If this is your business, you may be able to hire someone for yard work and general maintenance. It should be an allowable expense for tax purposes.It's rough trying to do all this on your own, but your spirit is commendable.


Warm wishes,

Jefa

 

Carrie Maddoux

(Retired)ISN Sclero Forums Support Specialist

(Retired)ISN Sclero Forums UK Chat Host

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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hey barefut. just wanted to let you know that I understand how you feel. sometimes I get so mad that I want to bend all my spoons til they break. don't care. it gets so doggoned frustrating to not have the energy or motivation to do what you need and want to do. a big hug is going out to you.

 

i got fed up and fired my doctor. i'm tired of my voice being unheard. so if you need to gripe, please feel welcome to do it. we're all listening and we're all on your side.

 

the way I manage is to be selective about what I REALLY need to tackle. i don't sweat the small stuff as much, cause I know that I'll eventually have a pretty good day. when I do, then I take full advantage of it and take care of business.

 

hang in there!!

sharon

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Hi Barefut ,

 

I can't begin to imagine how you all feel. I wish you lived closer...any of you...because I would be there to help you.

 

Take care, Everyone.

Margaret

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You sound like I feel. I can't motivate myself to do anything, especially household chores. I wonder if I am depressed, if it is the disease, or meds. Or if I am just plain lazy. I also seem to have a lack of concentration, have difficulty reading for example, and I used to be an avid reader.

 

I feel like I put a lot of responsibility on my husband, who is so helpful and understanding. We are having company next weekend and I feel pressure to do things around the house but can't motivate myself to do them. All I want to do is sleep and even that does not come easily.

 

My sclero specialist took me off Zoloft and put me on Prosac because of Raynaud's. I seem to be worse since the change. When I asked my dr. what causes the lack of motiviation she said it was a combination of all of it. I know I should probably see a psychiatrist for proper meds but can't seem to get myself to do that either. I also have kidney failure and dialysis takes a lot out of me. I am wiped out after treatments.

 

I try to get the most out of each day but it is hard. Knowing that there are others in the same boat helps but I wish none of us were experiencing this. Thanks for being there. I don't often write but I read the board every day.


ISN Artist

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Barefut,

 

Please try not to get discouraged. Many of us, myself included feel the same. It is not easy. I try not to get discouraged and do what I can. I find if I push myself too hard, I pay for it physically. In the big picture, it is not worth it. Your not alone. Hope you feel better soon.

 

EH


ANN

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Hi Barefut,

I often say that my "get up and go"...got up and LEFT! So all I can offer you is my support, understanding and a BIG hug!

 

Hang in there, tomorrow will be a better day!


*WestCoast*

 

********

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Hi Barefut,

 

Sorry to hear about it and my heart goes to you.

 

Have you considered depression?

 

If you do internet search, there are several documents on depression including one in a well known magazine on Feb 26, 2007.

 

What you are describing are typical symptoms of depression. Sometimes, finding right anti-depressant is a very challenging process. I have changed about six anti-depressants and every time, I have reacted very negatively. I have to go back to Paxil every time as it is working little bit.

 

Unfortunately, very few people understand how terrible depression can be.

 

Please take care of yourself.


Kind regards,

 

Kamlesh

 

 

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miocean,

have you tried lexapro? it's an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant my rheumatologist put me on that's also supposed to help with raynauds.

 

barefut,

first of all big hug. second, i totally understand. one week I'm on the couch everyday with just enuf energy to make an easy dinner for my hubby. the next week I'm running errands, visiting friends and wondering where this energy came from. Bizarre.

 

Today was a perfect example of weird energy. I spent two hours waiting to get my tire fixed. I felt like I had energy. So afterward my plan was to have lunch with a friend, visit another friend, go to the vet and exercise. Lunch fell thru so I went home and fell asleep for 4 hours and was late to the vet. Apparently I really didn't have any energy.

 

Energy wishes to you,

peanut


You can deprive the body but the soul needs chocolate

my HMO makes me wear a helmet...

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