Sweet

Needing To Talk

37 posts in this topic

Pam,

 

I cannot imagine my grands being that far away. It would break my heart. I am glad we have this part of the forum now so we can share this type of thing. It definitely does affect our condition(s).

 

I really hope you use this part of sharing often as the process continues. I hope you have some hands to hold and arms that will hug you. You know you have cyber hands and hugs and ears for listening here.

 

Lots of empathy to you,

 

emmie

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Hi Everyone,

 

I can't tell you how your overwhelming support hit me when I logged on today and saw all of this. You guys are amazing! So much love, and so much good advice! Thank you all so very much!

 

Peanut, thank you for the hugs, I certainly need them. My lap top does have a web cam, and I've talked with the kids about getting one. They say they will, but need to wait until they get over there, as they aren't sure if the electronics are user friendly in both countries. Funny though I have the web cam, but not sure how to use it to see them. Do I use MSN IM or something? Do you have to use a certain program to see each other? :blink:

 

Jefa, you know I thought about you when I wrote my post. I knew you were a transplant to your area. How in the world did you ever end up there? Did you have any guilt about leaving? I really can't move to NZ. At this time anyway, I just have no desire to live there other than my son and his girls would be there. I have a daughter who lives here too and has two kids, so I couldn't leave them. It's all just a mess. :)

 

Many of you mentioned us retiring there, but we really are not even near retirement age, I'm 48 and my husband is 41.

 

Sheryl, the 5 year plan was preparing for the leave to NZ. They were only going to stay in NZ for about 5 years, but that was when they only had one child (my daughter in law wants to make sure they go to primary school there) now that they have 2 it's been bumped to 10 years. My feeling is once they are there that long, they won't be coming back. And Yes, you made me cry again. :)

 

Truman, thank you for your wise words.

 

Barefut, You have no idea how many times, I've dreamt about what you said. "We've changed out minds!" I keep thinking they are not gone yet, something could happen, something might fall through, shoot even if I could get one more year it would make it a bit better as the youngest one might have a better chance of remembering who grandma is.

 

Janey, I am really hoping I feel like your sister when it comes to the web cam. Wish you could reach in and get a hug too!

 

Hey Jackie - I could use some advice on the long distance plan. Do you use a calling card? What kind of rate do you get?

 

Peggy, thank you so much, and thank you for the pm. *hugs*

 

Again thanks to you all for your help. Hope you won't get tired of me whining about it, because I have a feeling this won't be the last time. :)

 

Love you all!!


Warm and gentle hugs,

 

Pamela

ISN Support Specialist

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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Pamela,

A little late, but I've been out of town. I am so sorry your family is moving away.

I am hoping they will come back to visit you often.

Hmm, not that I don't want them to not like NZ, but you never know...they may not like it at all...and they may miss you too much.

Hang in there baby...

Love, love and more love,

Jen

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Hi Sweet, I experienced a similar situation but in my case it was the grandaprents going abroad rather than the grandchildren!. My parents moved from the UK to Hong Kong because of my fathers job. I had two small boys , one aged 3 and one 3 months, and was devastated that my parents , and my mother in particular, were going as they lived only half an hour away and we saw them frequently. I know my mother missed the grandchildren, but she used to come to the UK for 2 -3 months in the summer (she didn't work in HK) and my father would join us for a couple of weeks. we also used to talk on the phone lots ( this was pre the internet)

My sister lives in US (GA) and her daughter who lives in the UK had a baby last year. My sister works and given that she only gets 15 days holiday( I can't believe how little holiday you have in the US!) only gets over to see them very infrequently. She has found the internet a lifeline and gets to talk to them and see them via a webcam.

 

I know that it will be awful for you when they go, but with technology you can still keep in close touch. One day maybe they will develop that Star Trek technology of being able to transport yourself elsewhere instantly!

Lizzie

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Tears in my eyes, arms open for you.

 

I'm sorry

 

xo Vee


Happy people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have!

 

Warm and Happy to you! Vee

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Hi Pam,

 

All I can say, is I understand. When my grandchildren moved from California to Washington, which is not near as far as yours, I thought I would die. I cried and cried and cried. I know from experience there is nothing anybody can say, all you want to do is be with them. I love the saying, "If I had known how great grandchildren are, I would have had them first." As much as I love my children and are close to them, grandchildren are a whole new world. I think Peanut's idea of a webcam is a good idea. Even though you won't get to cuddle and kiss them, it will still be a way of keeping in touch and you can do this much moreso than on the phone. Plus, it will keep you real in their life, and keep you involved in theirs. Lots of hugs to you -

 

Cheri

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Barefut,

 

I'm hanging in there. Still break into tears just at the thought of it. I actually have both of the grand babies right now that will be moving. so, getting in all the time I can!!!

 

Cheri,

You are so right about the feelings...... We did get a webcam and my son just ordered a pc with a webcam, so we're going to practice on them before they live.....wish I could reach right into the pc and get/give hugs!

 

Thanks guy for caring.


Warm and gentle hugs,

 

Pamela

ISN Support Specialist

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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I just got my webcam and got to chat with my brother who I haven't seen in 2 years. It was so wonderful to see him. We hug the camera... it's funny.

 

It's not the same as in person but you will enjoy it...

peanut


You can deprive the body but the soul needs chocolate

my HMO makes me wear a helmet...

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Hi, Just wanted to give you a little update. The sale of my son's house is final. They move in with us next week for about 6 weeks before they move to New Zealand. My depression over this has not lifted. I cry everyday and it's hard to keep it in check. For the sake of my son and my grand daughters I hope that I can keep things a bit more upbeat while they are here. The 4 year old is having a really really hard time with it all and said she's not moving unless I go. So I've had to put up a brave front and tell her how fun it's going to be and how she'll get to see her other grandma and grandpa and cousins. (my daughter in law is from there, so all of her family is there)

 

Anyway, needless to say while they are here everything else will be pushed to the back burner. So I may not be on here as much.

 

I did download Skype and that is what we are going to use to chat/see each other. We'll practice with it over the next few weeks to make sure we get it down. Jen and I are going to be skype buddies as well.

 

Love you all and thanks for all your kind words and support.


Warm and gentle hugs,

 

Pamela

ISN Support Specialist

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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Oh, Pam - I did not realise your daughter-in-law was going to be where her family lives. It does make things a little different to know that there will be people there who are close to her. I am sure she will gain much from seeing them again. I know it will be hard for you. I grew up in a military family and we had to move a lot. I was also in the service as was my daughter and son-in-law. As a result, we have had many separations in various ways and forms. I got to know my own mother best when I lived on the other side of the USA from her. Now I am on the other side of the world. My daughter lived in Okinawa for 6 years. The experience was enriching for her and her family.

 

The world is a lot smaller now than it used to be. The spirit we all share is not limited to physical contact. You will find many ways to make contact. My son in California called me on Skype last weekend and wants me to join, too. I will let you know when I have connected. Hugs to you, Sweetie.


Warm wishes,

Jefa

 

Carrie Maddoux

(Retired)ISN Sclero Forums Support Specialist

(Retired)ISN Sclero Forums UK Chat Host

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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