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barefut

What do you do to lift your spirits?

31 posts in this topic

I am interested to see this thread resurrected again. It is timely for me.

 

My strategies for keeping self-peace were tested this week with the sudden, self-destructive death of a lovely nephew. My family is devastated this week.

 

I am trying to remember to celebrate who he was/is. And remember he felt love from us all. Reading this thread has made me think and recognize what works for me, and reminds me to test more strategies.

 

This has worked for me this week:

 

* Taking a bath with candles and with favorite music playing has helped me get back to a good place. I massage and stretch in the warm water and it helps take my thoughts away from any sad place.

 

* I let myself cry some, then I take a deep breath and try to remember something to smile about. Even forcing a smile helps get me on track again.

 

* I go out for coffee where I can sit outdoors, preferably with someone, and talk about other things.

 

* Bringing out my music player with earphones to block out everything works remarkably well for me.

 

* I try to recognize if thoughts are starting to paralyze me as soon as possible. I get up and do anything - clean the kitchen, sort a box, de-cluttering a space or drawer always helps clear my mind again.

 

* I keep reminding myself to celebrate who he was - when I pass away, I don't want any of my family or friends moaning about how they should have called me more or spent more time with me. I feel their love and I am content with things the way they are....

 

 

Barefut - I see three months has gone by since the original post. I hope it is getting easier for you!

 

-RTS

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RTS,

I'm very sorry to read about your nephew. However, it does seem that you have found some great ways to lift your spirits but yet continue to celebrate the person he was. I trust that your spirit lifters will continue to work for you. I'm going to try a few of them for myself. Great ideas!

 

With loving arms,


Janey Willis

ISN Support Specialist

(Retired) ISN Assistant Webmaster

(Retired) ISN News Director

(Retired) ISN Technical Writer for Training Manuals

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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RTS,

 

My heart goes out to you and your family on the passing of your nephew. No one can fill the place your nephew played in your lives. I hope he has found peace and happiness.

 

I'm glad Barefut's post reminded us to remember the simple joys in life and to take the time to appreciate them.

 

 

Stay strong,

LOL, Razz


Live well, Laugh often, Love much

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Hey There Razz,

 

Thanks for bumping up my post with another reply. I love reading about what others do to make themselves feel better. Everything you mentioned is a great idea and so true.

 

Speaking of Tru(e) :rolleyes:

 

The wall and the radar don't need to be explained to me. Thank you for your encouraging words. Seems like I need a lot of them these days. That, and a push.

 

Glad you had a fun 4th and got some good sleep!

 

Smurfette~

 

Are you for hire? :lol: I am trying to do the divorce paperwork myself and it's hard because of my situation. Thank you also for your great ideas and for your understanding.

 

RTS ~

 

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am glad that this thread has been a comfort to you. I loved reading all your ideas. I am glad I have them here to come back and read whenever I need to. I am doing better, thank you. Wishing you peace as well.

 

Love you all,


Take care,

Barefut

 

Serena Justis

ISN Blogger

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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Barefut,

Seriously, unless your divorce is uncontested and there are no assets and you and your ex are in agreement about everything you should consult with an attorney. I do not practice law right now but for your own protection you need to know your rights and have a complete understanding of what you are entitled to and what you may be relinquishing. If you are completely without any money there are usually legal aid clinics for little or no fees. At the very least consult someone to make sure that you are not getting the short end of the stick. In some states you can get legal fees paid for you and support during the pending action. Again, I do not know where your jurisdiction is and what the law says where your proceeding is taking place, but do not go headlong into the proceeding without at least knowing what you are entitled to and may be giving up.

 

Dissolution of a marriage is painful enough. If you are getting shafted because you are not being adequately protected it is adding financial and emotional injury to the already difficult situation. Women usually come out of these matters economically disadvantaged. With your health compromised you need someone to help you get what you deserve.

 

Having a clear understanding of what you are entitled to and speaking to an attorney can lift your spirits - you can have someone on your side! Check out with your area bar assn. and see if there are attorneys who do pro bono work. If you qualify due to your illness and financial circumstances you can have someone help you out.

 

I hope that I am not being presumptuous, but I hate seeing someone who is ill being forced to fend for themselves through the legal system. It is complex and especially in the area of domestic relations can have long term ramifications regarding how you are able to take care of yourself financially for many years to come. I could go on and discuss issues that should be considered, but free legal advice is worth what you pay for it. If you do have any questions they need to be answered by an attorney practicing in your jurisdiction.

 

Good luck and you can send me a pm with general questions.

 

Smurfette


Smurfette

 

Chocolate, It isn't just for breakfast anymore!

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Thank you Smurfette.

 

I do have a resource on free/reduced cost legal aid in Washington State. Getting someone on the phone during their limited hours of operation is hard as I am working during their hours.

 

I would SO love to have someone on my side. Someone who would fight for me. I get so exhausted sometimes.

 

Thank you for the invitation to PM you. I will do that. You are sweet.


Take care,

Barefut

 

Serena Justis

ISN Blogger

International Scleroderma Network (ISN)

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