I am Fykah, eighteen, and it is my birthday tomorrow. But I guess I already got my nineteenth birthday present: lupus.
I am recently diagnosed with lupus, yet some complications are still under-diagnosed. I've always had huge aspirations. Now, as my health deterioates at a weird rate, I can't walk around. My heart is in serious condition, my lungs are swollen, so are my joints. My voice is almost not there and here I am, thinking about my nineteenth birthday.
My face is swollen, as some gland in my neck has bloated and somehow I don't enjoy what I see in the mirror. I am very sensitive to sunlight and so I stay in for all day and when I decide to go out, it is after 8 or 9 p.m.
I almost feel drained by going down my stairs, and so I decide against it. It has been days since I walked out in the sun. I always loved sun; now I am forced to hate it.
I am despondent, yes. Because I see my dreams shattering, my family life is breaking apart and I am getting more useless EVERY single day. How long will I continue?
Maybe another thirty years…maybe not another day.
Email: Withheld by Request
Story edited 04-30-07 JTD
Story posted 04-30-07 SLE
ISN Senior Artist: Sherrill Knaggs
Story Editor: Judith Thompson Devlin
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE)
Lupus Personal Stories
Medical: Diseases and Symptoms
Scleroderma Experts (Worldwide)
Symptoms of Systemic Scleroderma
Types of Scleroderma
What is Scleroderma?
SCLERO.ORG is the world's leading nonprofit for trustworthy research, support, education and awareness for scleroderma and related illnesses. We are a 501(c)(3) U.S.-based public charitable foundation, established in 2002. Meet Our Team. Donations may also be mailed to: